Alright, in honor of me being lazy and unproductive with no motivation to post anything, I have decided that I will write one post each month. This means I’ll probably write a post every 30th/31st since I’m a procrastinator, but maybe I’ll get struck by inspiration.
Deadlines are annoying. In many cases, I have 99 things to do on one day, and none on the rest. I spend my time complaining about all that I have to do and that it all needs to be done by that one day instead of actually doing what needs to be done so I’m not overworked on one day when I try to do it all.
Deadlines are threatening. As the date draws nearer and nearer, my nerves get worse and worse. Every time I think about whatever I need to do, dread fills me to the core and I have to go scream in a pillow or cry in a public bathroom. My creativity and my imagination leave me, and I am left a blank being who can only eat, sleep, and say “Yes” or “No,” which doesn’t help when I’m trying to get stuff done.
Deadlines are necessary. Without them, nothing would get done, and if it did, it would take forever. If I only ever do things when I want to, then none of my homework, actual work, stories, or blog posts would be completed or even started. Motivation comes to me at two different times: when I only have a short amount of time, and when I am so inspired that if I don’t find a way to channel it I will explode or set a building on fire.
One would think that I would learn from my past mistakes when handling deadlines, but one would be wrong. By now, these mistakes have become habits. Every single time I am given a deadline, I think: “Oh that’s a month away. I’ll worry about it when it’s two weeks.” Two weeks comes along, and I think: “Netflix is really calling me right now. I’ll do it all next weekend.” Said weekend comes along, and Netflix is still incredibly enticing (I am not blaming Netflix for my problems; I am blaming my poor prioritizing). Suddenly, it’s two days before the deadline and I have 1500+ words to write or something equally overwhelming. In such a time crunch, I drop everything else that exists in my life and do only the bare minimum.. Once the project is done, I tell myself: “Never again.”
But that’s a lie. This cycle continues, and I keep saying: “Once you’re a full adult, you’ll have time management perfect and everything will be easier.” But that’s not true. Time management is something you learn and practice, not a magical trait that shows up once you hit age 22 or whatever you classify a “full adult” as. 40, maybe?
And perhaps it’s better that I procrastinate so badly. My best work is done when I’m crunched for time, even though I never have time for proofreading. But maybe that’s just the excuse my brain provides so I can keep being lazy and not change my ways.